ScrapperWolf: "Hiryu Shoten-Bractopus? We can't drink to that, can we?"
        Anarchy: [oh yeah; she's bombed] "Who cares?! More Sake!!"
        Pesti-chan carefully stepped back into the room, examining the wall of nothing but bra-clad octopuses plastered to it. However there was just one kawaii li'l centerpiece of a very bug-eyed Chaos' head sticking out.
        Chaos: --;; [turning to the author] "I fail to see the humour in this."
        Carnage poked a now catatonic Beans in the arm. "Beans? Moshi moshi?"
        Beans blinked. "That was...surreal," she remarked. "I was suddenly filled with the thought that my College Life's Omake Theatre would be the perfect chance to prove a...Rule 3?"
        Vega facevaulted. "M-Masaka."
        Beans turned her head as Ophelia tapped her on the shoulder. "Now then," Ophelia asked. "Can I have my panties back?"
        Beans sweatdropped. "Oh yeah...that too."
        "Was it silk or lace?" Minako asked. Beans and Ophelia shot her a look. "What? I was just curious."
        "Baka Chaos," Miyu sighed, working with Rei and Larva to peel Chaos off the wall. "There's going to be sucker marks all over the wood now."
        Larva paused in discovering that beneath the octopi was also Desolation. "Stupid author," the lost fanboy warbled in a stunned, distant voice. "Ask him to stop the Christmasfic...."
        "Believe me, we already tried that," Pesti-chan said, dragging Desolation back to his recovery room.
        "Strange," Polaris remarked. "Beans is alright but no one hit her."
        Mayhem shrugged. "Well, Havoc does exhaust most of his hentai battle aura when he uses Hiryu Shoten-Bra. Maybe too much power was drained and his aura was forced to find a new host."
        Makoto looked around the room. "But then who got possessed?"
        "Dammit!" Rei suddenly exclaimed, straightening up and twirling Miyu panties on her index finger. "I possess Desolation for not even five seconds, and he still manages to somehow lose my *entire* panty collection!"
        "Hey!" Miyu snapped, summoning fireball from her palm. "I was saving those for Carnage-chan!"
        Rei summoned her own attack: "Throbbing Mandala!"
        "Looks like Miyu's really gonna make sure that she hits Rei hard enough to get Havoc out," Pesti-chan remarked.
        Carnage's eyes widened, and in an act of courage, sacrifice and utter stupidity he leaped right into both Miyu's fireball and Rei's Throbbing Mandala. The result was an enormous pillar of pulsating fire that sent both girls tumbling backwards, Rei hitting her head on the floor.
        As the smoke cleared, there stood a wobbly and wide-eyed Carnage, his clothes black and shredded, his half-nekkid form causing the Tenchi Masaki syndrome to kick into high gear.
        Rei smiled, leaping into the smouldering fanboy's arms. "Akito-chan, you love me enough to sacrifice yourself for me?"
        "Whaddaya mean *YOUR* Carnage?!" Miyu snapped, putting Carnage into a headlock and trying to drag him off.
        "Sexy!" Polaris, Vega, ScrapperWolf and Ophelia exclaimed, leaping into the melee and managing to send everyone in the pile to crash through the floor...their landing nicely softened by Carnage.
        Skimehime-chan shook her head as she walked over to the pile of flailing SD limbs and fished out Carnage from it. "Come on," she said, dragging the hapless fanboy off. "You may be a guy, but you're still too damned cute to pass up so I suppose it'll do."
        Carnage's big swirly lines for eyes abruptly ballooned out. "Wait!" he protested, digging his hands into the floor as the Red Queen dragged him off. "What about Rule 3?! Rule 3!!"
        Red Queen Kasumi shrugged. "I'll just pretend you're Miyuki-chan."
        "TASUKETEEEEE!!" Carnage shrieked as he was dragged outside, a trail of large gouges in the wood left from his fingernails. "An-chan, do something!"
        Carnage sweatdropped as he was tossed a 'Bon Voyage!' card.
        The fanboys shook their heads as they watched him disappear in behind the Snowjin. "Poor bastard," Famine said.
        Mayhem nodded. "When the Red Queen has that look in her eyes, you know nothing will save him."
        "He should just shout Jo'o-sama! now and get it over with," Pesti-chan sighed.
        A few seconds later out from the temple came the shout: "BUSTER BEEEEEAAAAMMMM!!!"
        Chaos, Pesti-chan, Famine and Mayhem blinked as the Urotsuki Snowjin took the full brunt of the blast, whipped cream, snow and naughty tentacles splattering across the foursome. Chaos wound up getting clocked by an enormous eyeball-shaped piece of Jello from said Snowjin. After a few silent moments of reflection that they were now nothing but large piles of cream with eyes, Pesti-chan quietly slid the fusama closed.
        "So," Famine remarked. "Anyone else have the sudden urge to shower?"
        Abruptly the fusama slid open again to reveal the Megane 6.7 gang: Joel Robinson, and his robots Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo. All three were busy wiping themselves clean from the Cream Lemon of the detonated Snowjin.
        Tom looked down at Chaos' feet sticking out from a pile on the floor, the Jello Snowjin eyeball staring back. "Say," the robot remarked. "Is that Jello in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
        "Curse Carnage's Gunbusting butt," Chaos muttered.
        "We're here!" Joel proclaimed. "We managed to duck Dr. F. by rigging Cambot into a continuous loop, playing the same reel of tape over and over again. Thanks to that we slipped out from the theatre undetected."
        "Yesiree, Bob!" Crow added, pulling out a video. "And the tape we used is right here!"
        Tom and Joel sweatdropped.
        "Yesiree Bob?" Tom asked.
        "Crow," Joel said. "If that's the video we meant to loop into Cambot, then just what video did get looped?"
        [Meanwhile in Deep 13....]
        Dr. Clayton Forrester rubbed his hands together in eager anticipation. This time for certain he would break the wills of that stubborn Joel, and his robots Tom and Crow. It had been difficult for him to get over being so close to resurrecting Oscar and ruling the world had it not been for those pesky fanboys and their remote control.
        Now this time he would not fail!
        "Frank!" he called out to his assistant. "Bring up the monitor! I want to check on their progress!"
        "But," Frank protested. "I didn't eat the monitor. How can I bring it up if I didn't--"
        "Would you stop being so literal?!" Forrester exclaimed, punting his assistant into the ON switch for the enormous television monitor. There was static for a moment, and then the picture cleared up.
        "Ahhh!" Dr. F. sighed. "Now how are my guinea piglets doing with this episode's hideous fanfic of--?"
        (And Take Their Tops Of!)

        Dr. Forrester's eyebrow developed a nasty twitch. "I don't recall sending them this," he muttered. "Frank, were you recording over my 'Do Not Record Over' tapes again?!"
        [Back at the Fire River Temple....]
        "Yo!" Tom said as Joel carried him into the room. "While the Mads are away it's time to par-tay! Where's the limbo pole?"
        "The way tonight's going it might as well be a libido pole," Pesti-chan muttered darkly.
        "I think Havoc has one of those in his La Blue Girl display at Planet Hentai," Mayhem replied.
        Pesti-chan promptly whacked him with a cabbage.
        Suddenly Crow started to convulse, sparks flying out of his head. "Hotcha!" he exclaimed, a large grin growing on his face as he pulled out a wooden rice spoon. "Who's up for another rousing game of Spank the Senshi?"
        "Hai!" Minako piped up.
        "MINAKO-CHAN!!" Makoto, Usagi and Rei chorused.
        Crow immediately started to chase after Makoto, bounding across the room and effortlessly avoiding Pesti-chan's attacks with a pan-dimensional mallet.
        Beans rubbed her temples. "This is like visiting a sanitarium that has no locks on the padded cells."
        "You might as well take a seat behind the AT Field and enjoy it," Polaris replied. "Popcorn?"
        "Daijobu," Ophelia said, consoling her friend. "Pocky?"
        Beans' eyebrow twitched. "You two are not helping me here."
        Suddenly Christabel snatched the box of snacks from Ophelia's hands. "Hey!" Ophelia exclaimed. "That was *MY* chocolate Pocky, Christabel!! What happened to all that Chocolate Pockymon I gave you?!"
        The gargoyle shrugged. "Rampage ate them."
        "BUUUUURRRRRRRP!! CHU CHU!" the SD Godzilla-thingy happily squeaked as Vega rubbed her tummy in between sips of Sake with Anarchy and ScrapperWolf.
        "Daijobu, Mako-chan!" Chaos stated, stepping into the path of the chase scene and sticking out his hand. "I shall protect you!"
        However with his impeccable timing as always Chaos decided to put out his hand in front of Mako-chan rather than Crow.
        Chaos: o.O [grope grope!] "Ano...."
        Makoto: [grrr!] "You did that deliberately, didn't you?"
        Pesti: [with mallet!] "CHAOS...!!!"
        Ophelia: [turning to ScrapperWolf] "Refresh my memory: was that protect or grope?"
        ScrapperWolf: [she's hammered too!] "Let's drink to it anyways, An-chan!"
        Anarchy: "Tasuki, baby, we need more Sake!"
        And as Air Chaos took another non-stop flight into the nearest solid object Carnage staggered back into the room, a kawaii li'l stormcloud raining over his head, and Red Queen Kasumi's whip still wrapped around his left leg.
        "Freakin'...Tenchi Masaki...syndrome," he panted. "If it hadn't been for my Super Gundam Crushing Press, I would be calling Skimehime-chan the Queen by now! Nobody...touches the SD Deathscythes on my boxer shorts."
        "Except me!" Rei and Miyu chorused, pouncing on him.
        Carnage blinked. "Oh no."
        Now had Dragu Slave-happy fanboy not been imbedded in a Carnage-shaped crater in the verandah seconds later, his eyebrow would have no doubt twitched in seeing Crow playfully smacking the fair Ami-chan's rear. Which was followed by Mayhem grabbing Usagi and kissing her to transform into Dark Schneider, and hunt down the hentaibot.
        "Get back here, you bastard!" Dark Schneider snarled. "No one spanks my babe but me! GUNS N' RO!!!"
        Desolation sighed, running a hand over the enormous bump on his head as he emerged from his recovery room. "Shimatta!" he lamented. "Being a Wu really sucks."
        "Hotcha!" Crow exclaimed, bouncing off Desolation's face.
        Desolation's head went into a pillar, the fanboy springing back just in to see the Guns N' Ro attack heading straight for him. Desolation's eyes bugged out. "Lovely!!"
        Famine winced. "Damn, am I glad not to be his underlord in training, training!"
        Carnage turned to Polaris as he groggily picked the wooden timbres out from his hair. "Why's a robot trying to spank Ami?"
        Polaris shrugged, happily nuzzling the smited remains of Chaos in her arms. "Havoc just possessed him."
        "Crow, heel! Heel!" Tom exclaimed. "No! Bad robot, bad robot! At least save me a panty!"
        "He's Crow T. Robot," Joel replied, smacking Tom. "And if possible we'd like to have him back in one piece."
        "No problem," Carnage said, cracking his knuckles. "DISFANG!!!"
        The dragon-like attack of dark energy erupted, streaking right for Crow. With a Chichiri grin on his face, Crow glanced back in his bounce. "Oro?"
        Seconds later the entire room was flooded with whipped cream. "How the hell can a robot Cream Lemon?!" Carnage exclaimed, his head popping out from the mass of lemony-white stuff.
        "You'd think all this fuckin' whipped cream would short out his circuits," Dark Schneider remarked, passionately kissing his beloved Ami-chan and thus reverting back to Mayhem.
        "Hotcha!" Crow exclaimed with a cat-grin, erupting from the whipped cream right behind ScrapperWolf and groping her.
        "I got him!" Vega said, grabbing the Christmas tree and swinging it around at Crow. Yet Crow dodged the tree and Vega felt another cool breeze.
        "Shimatta," Makoto growled, transforming into Jupiter and unleashed a Supreme Thunder attack in Crow's direction. Seconds later an eruption of whipped cream covered everything else in the room.
        "Ah, we must be in the middle of another Mercuary snowstorm," Tom remarked, little windshield wipers appearing to clear off his gumball bubble dome for a head.
        "Hey, be careful with Crow!" Joel exclaimed. "He's not under warranty."
        "Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that," Polaris replied dryly, wiping some whipped cream from her face. "This probably just tickled him."
        "Now I'm really glad I took a seat behind the AT Field," Beans muttered to Ophelia.
        "How do we stop him?!" Miyu exclaimed, lobbing a fireball at Crow and torching numerous levels of whipped cream--not to mention Chaos too.
        "What about the remote control of the gods?" Famine asked.
        "Great! Click me into that Big Breasted Anime Babes fic!" Tom piped up. Joel promptly punted the robot into the skeletal remains of the Christmas tree.
        "That would be great," Pesti-chan agreed. "had that first Cream Lemon explosion Carnage caused didn't cause us to lose it beneath a few hundred thousand tonnes of whipped cream."
        "Actually," Mayhem piped up. "Havoc has it now."
        "Which means it could be anywhere," Carnage groaned.
        "Maybe we could find a sexorcist for this," Charon offered.
        "THAT HENTAI ANIME HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH DEMON POSSESSION!!" the smoking, oversized head of Chaos exclaimed.
        "There's always that hermaphrodite shrine maiden from F3 part III," Skimehime-chan piped up. "Or the spiritualist from New Angel. She's quite 'sympathetic' about these things."
        Chaos looked over to the Red Queen after having turned Charon into an octopus and booted him through the ceiling. "You guys aren't helping our situation, you realize."
        "Was I trying to?" the Red Queen replied with an ecchi smile. "That spiritualist chick was cute!"
        "I think I got him," Miyu said, instructing Larva on where to sift through the Cream Lemon.
        Christabel picked up the cream-covered mechanical body of Crow. "Is this what you were looking for?"
        "Crow!" Joel exclaimed, cradling his robotic comrade. "Speak to me! Say something!"
        "Nanu nanu," Crow groaned. "My hard drive's crashed and I can't get up!"
        Tom nodded. "Yeah, he'll live."
        "CHU CHU!" Rampage happily squeaked, chomping down on the last mouthful of whipped cream. Abruptly the kawaii SD Godzilla-thingy for a mascot froze, hissing vehemently at one of the sliding doors.
        "That's strange," Makoto remarked. "I've never heard Rampage do that before."
        "What could get her so agitated?" Usagi wondered.
        Mayhem and Pesti-chan looked at each other. "Uh-oh."
        Chaos' eyes bugged out. "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
        Second later a multi-coloured parrot-thingy tore through the paper screens, squawking as it raced after Chaos. Rampage bounded right behind both of them, grabbing hold of Chaos' shoe and devouring it.
        "YaddaYadda?" Carnage said. "But then that means--"
        "Komban wa!" Senshi Chaos-chan said, dressed in very masculine clothing reminiscent of Haruka.
        "Ooh! Sexy!" Vega and ScrapperWolf piped up.
        "Don't bother," Charon said. "Chaos-chan's a 'she'. And her panties aren't half bad either."
        Senshi Chaos blinked as she felt the draft. "CHARON...!!" she snarled, pulling out her big-ass Chaos Sword.
        Charon grinned. "Hotcha! And now for Skimehime-chan's panties. Chaaaaaarge!" Seconds later Charon was catapulted back across the room, Red Queen Kasumi's cackling causing everyone to shudder.
        "An-chan!" Sailor Psyco said, happily joining the group of drunken otaku at the karaoke machine.
        Ophelia warily glanced over from Psyco to Makoto. "Ne, are you per chance...twins?"
        "No," Usagi giggled. "This is Tendo Akane-chan!"
        Ophelia sweatdropped. "Do tell."
        "Er, long fanficfic," Psyco replied, taking a microphone.
        Anarchy, Psyco, ScrapperWolf & Vega: [go Nadesico!] "Zutto sagashitota konna Emotion! Pure na kimochi nemute itanone!"
        Ruri-chan: "Baka baka, minna baka."

Page 3
Back to Fanfics