"What the hell's with this story?!" Chaos exclaimed, his irate li'l SD head popping out from the mounds of whipped cream. "Is the author going for the Guinness Book of World Records for Cream Lemon detonations in a single fic?!"
        "And we get to see it done together, Chaos-chan," Hotaru purred, her kawaii li'l SD head popping up next to his.
        "CHAOS...!!!" Haruka's very unfriendly li'l SD head snarled, popping up behind Chaos. Seconds later a most kawaii and sharpened SD Space Sword popped up.
        "Well," Pesti-chan offered. "At least that blast knocked Havoc's aura out of Setsuna."
        Suddenly who should erupt from beneath the whipped cream but Dominatrix Michiru, who was twirling Chaos-chan and Psyco-chan's panties on her fingers. "Ara ara," she sighed, an ecchi sparkle in her eyes. "I must admit the idea of shouting out 'Hotcha!' is a rather euphoric one! Panties for the Hentenno Jo'o-sama!!"
        Famine rolled his eyes. "And right into Michiru. Anarchy, could you get Rampage to clean this mess up so we don't have to wade through it?"
        However Anarchy was far too busy juggling numerous bottles of Sake as well as Tasuki to notice their new predicament. Fortunately, Rampage happened to clear the way right by them as she and YaddaYadda tried to hunt down a frantic SD Octopus Charon. All the whipped cream was devoured, but unfortunately little Rampage-chan got a wee bit carried away and devoured the pants off of every last fanboy.
        Carnage looked down at himself and immediately blushed upon realizing Miyu still had his SD Deathscythe boxers...and that he was now giving a nekkid flash to the ladies. Seconds later Vega, Polaris, Chaos-chan, Psyco-chan, ScrapperWolf, Red Queen Kasumi and Ophelia pounced on top of him.
        Beans shook her head. "Idiots," she muttered, ensuring the Yggdrasil bug stuck to her back was still firmly in place to counteract the Tenchi Masaki syndrome.
        One of her eyebrows was raised as she stared down at Mayhem's Lucky Kitty gym shorts. "Aiya. They really weren't kidding when they said you wore those."
        "Well at least I don't get drafty chills when I wear these babies," Mayhem retorted.
        Makoto blushed as she saw Pesti-chan's li'l SD EVA Hell Custom boxers. "K-Kawaii," she stammered.
        Pesti-chan just shook his head. "Well, Mako-chan, I guess this makes us about even."
        Mako-chan blinked. "Na ni?" And then she felt another familiar draft. She shrieked, looking at Michiru. "That's the fourth pair I've lost already tonight!"
        Michiru took a deep inhale of the fair Mako-chan's panties. "Ah, silken treasures indeed! Now where's Tuxedo Haruka to come and punish me for being such a bad little Senshi?"
        Hotaru curiously glanced down at Chaos' boxers. "Super-deformed PenPen's, Chaos-chan?"
        "It's as close as he could get to Misato thanks to that Katsuragi Orange Road fic of his," Mayhem chuckled. "I'm just impressed he's not wearing his drawstring panties with the SD Mako-chan's on them."
        "Hush, Newt-boy!" Chaos said, trying to lob his sweatdrop and make Mayhem go Jusenkyo. "Go iron your Lucky Kitties or something! Besides...Havoc already stole those panties earlier this evening."
        Hotaru laughed. "Even still, they look cute on you, Chaos-chan."
        "Um, guys?" Pesti-chan asked, pointing over to Dominatrix Michiru. "Remember the S&M Senshi with the tight leather fuku and whip wanting to make us call her Hentenno-sama?"
        "That's Hentenno Jo'o-sama!!!" Michiru cackled, cracking her whip.
        "KYAAAAA!!!" the SD fanboys exclaimed, bowing down before her. "JO'O-SAMAAA!!!"
        "That's a new look for her," Christabel remarked.
        Crow nodded. "Indeed. So...popcorn?"
        "Nah, Pocky!" Christabel countered.
        "Popcorn...." Pesti-chan mused. "Aha! Idea!" And with that the newly appointed overlord raced out from the building--and slid out of control on the slippery remains of the Urotsuki Snowjin.
        "How do you stop this thing?!" the overlord exclaimed as he was catapulted into the air by a snow tentacle.
        "Pesti-chan!" Chaos snapped. "Where do you think you're going at a time like this?!"
        "I suggest we follow his lead," Mayhem piped up.
        "I would tend to agree," Carnage added. "Count our losses in panties now, and then regroup with a pack of Zeorymers."
        "You're not going anywhere!" Dominatrix Michiru shouted, launching her attack. "Deep Throat Submerge!!"
        Fanboys: o.O
        Hotaru: "Deep throat? What's that?"
        Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "Ano...."
        Mayhem: "Michiru-momma and Haruka-poppa will tell you all about it later."
        Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy! You're not exactly helping us here!"
        Carnage: [in his Vayete Gundam!] "Try submerging this, Havoc! Ha ha! Behold my awesome...wait a minute. This is a disposable Gundam. (o.O) WHAT AM I DOING IN A DISPOSABLE GUNDAM?! KYAAAAA!!"
        Lucky for the entire cast, the Deep Throat wound up submerging Carnage's Vayete Gundam instead of the temple, little bits of gears and springs raining down in all directions. Chaos managed to shield Hotaru from a flying piece of the Gundam's hand with his face--quite an impressive stunt considering this fic still didn't have enough money for fanboy stunt doubles.
        Mayhem waited for the water to drain out from the room before folding up his umbrella again. A few moments later Carnage's ejection chair crashed into the floor next to him. "So, was it good for you too?" he inquired to the hole in the floor.
        "That was...surprisingly warm," Carnage remarked distantly as he undid his seatbelt. "And salty too." Seconds later his eyes bugged out. "OH MY [un-traslatable]!!!"
        "Michiru!" Haruka called out, taking a defiant stance before the newly appointed Hentenno Jo'o-sama. "Fight the hentai, Michiru! I know this isn't like you to be wearing that costume outside of a bedroom...unless you're hurting Chaos."
        Beans' eyebrow twitched. "I don't believe this."
        "This coming from the person who decided to see what Haruka and Michiru had in their hall closet," Polaris replied with a smirk. Seconds later she was clocked with a terrified flying octopus.
        Michiru laughed. "Ara, Haruka, and just how do you plan to stop me? My hands are quicker than your eyes, you know."
        Haruka growled something under her breath, and then drew out a pair of silken SD Michi-chan patterned panties. Michiru's eyes widened as Haruka dangled the panties in front of her. "The only ones I ever wear apart from my own boxer shorts," Haruka stated. "And they're all yours, Havoc, if you'll just let Michiru go and take me instead."
        "Haruka, no!" Beans protested.
        Haruka raised a hand to silence her ardent fan. "If it's the only way to get that perv out of my Michiru then it has to be done."
        "The idea of Havoc possessing Haruka doesn't seem all that bad," Chaos remarked aside to Joel. "After all, Haruka won't spend her time chasing after me with that Space Sword."
        "So then, you *want* to see her new World Jiggling attack?" Joel asked.
        Chaos' kitty ears popped out from his hair. "Ano...."
        Michiru abruptly convulsed, the air around her rippling as Havoc's hentai battle aura left her body. "Hotcha!" Havoc's disembodied voice exclaimed, the aura shooting across the room straight for Haruka.
        "Michiru-momma!" Hotaru cried out, racing over to Michiru.
        "Hey!" Anarchy cut in, her face totally red from her Sake intake. "You can't (hic!) possess a damned sexy girl like Haruka until she get's pissed like the rest of us!"
        And with that Anarchy threw up--
        Chaos: [???] "Her lunch?"
        [Mayhem & Carnage immediately step away from Chaos.]
        Both: "Baaaaka."
        Anarchy: [grrr!] "My AT Field, you moron!"
        [Cue the Galaxy Express 999 locomotive engine that falls from the sky and smites Chaos!]
        Anarchy tossed Haruka an unopened bottle of Sake as Havoc's hentai battle aura collided with her AT Field, the entire room lit up in hues of gold and orange as Havoc tried to find a way to get through.
        "Anarchy," Miyu asked. "Are you absolutely certain Havoc won't be able to get through that?"
        "Ha!" Anarchy said. "I'd like to see that pervert try to...what the hell?" She scowled. "Dammit, the freak's erected an Ecchi Field. It'll nullify my field any second, and the aura will break through!"
        "She'll possess Haruka!" Beans exclaimed frantically. "Somebody, do something!" Beans' gaze levelled right with Chaos.
        "Oh no!" Chaos protested. "After all we've been through not even you could be that cruel, Beans!"
        Beans hesitated--right until she noticed a familiar aquarium tank right behind Chaos. Chaos gave her a sincere smile as the water burbled irately. "Um....Bean goddess?" he ventured.
        So to save her beloved Haruka, Beans did what anyone else would have done: she lobbed Chaos into the path of the hentai aura. Haruka shielded her eyes as an explosion of light sent her tumbling backwards into ScrapperWolf and Vega. As the light faded everyone slowly turned their heads towards a newly possessed lord Chaos. And then just as abruptly as he was possessed, Havoc's hentai battle aura leaped out from Chaos' body.
        "That's just sick!" Havoc's aura exclaimed. "Like I would even *think* of ever doing something like that!!"
        Chaos was suddenly aware of black looming shadow over him. With watery Bambi eyes he stared up at the demonic aura of Carnage.
        "Hentai!" Carnage snarled.
        "But I'm not even possessed!" a frantic SD Chaos shrieked.
        "Do I look like I care?! DRAGU SLAVE!!!!"
        [Cue the gratuitous Dragu Slave smite!!]
        Chaos: --;; [looking to the author] "When this is aaaaaall over, buddy, you and I are gonna have a little talk about just who's the real pervert here."
        Charon glanced over to the hentai battle aura hovering next to him. "So, do you figure Panty Claus will be quite proud of you for this?"
        "Hotcha!" the battle aura said, a pair of SD Michi-chan patterned panties floating beside to Charon. "Silken treasures for Hentenno-sama!"
        Lord Charon looked up as an enormous shadow descended upon him. "Na ni?" He instantly reverted into bug-eyed SD mode as the foot of the EVA Hell Custom promptly stepped on him.
        "Got him!" Pesti-chan's voice boomed over the EVA's speakers.
        "But...Charon wasn't possessed," Usagi said.
        "And your point is?" Mayhem asked, opening a bottle of Hard Lemonade to celebrate. "Ami-chan, where's that mistletoe?"
        "Sugoi, Kamui!" Minako said, clapping.
        Makoto nodded, beaming. "Hai, Kamui-chan."
        "Mako-chan...!!" Chaos sniffled.
        Hotaru glomped onto Chaos' arm. "Chaos-chan, what about us? I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with you."
        "Now you might as well make it a Christmas EVA," Pesti-chan quipped. "I don't think Havoc's hentai battle aura will be coming back all too...what the hell? Shimatta!"
        The EVA's body convulsed, veins suddenly rippling through the legs of the armour and moving upwards. Its mouth opened and howled wildly.
        Carnage pulled out his laptop. "Shit!" he said, studying the EVA's systems data. "Havoc's directly infecting the EVA like an Angel would, trying to make first contact with the pilot."
        "Pesti!" Chaos shouted.
        "Kamui-chan!" Makoto exclaimed.
        "Pesti-chan's synch ratio's going out of control," Carnage said. "It's being corrupted! At this rate if we don't disconnect his link with the EVA he might be permanently damaged by the high levels of hentai...like how Mayhem is."
        "Eject the entry plug then," Chaos-chan said.
        "No response," Carnage replied, typing away at the keyboard.
        "Hang on," Pesti-chan's voice boomed. "If I can reach my Progressive Knife I think I can keep Havoc's aura contained."
        "Kamui, this isn't like that creature you fought at the beach," Rei said.
        "Daijobu," Carnage said, calming Rei down. "After that incident with Gaghiel I put a portable prog knife into the EVA Hell Custom's shoulder blade."
        "Just sever your umbilical cord again," Mayhem called up to Pesti-chan. "With the amount of retractable blades mecha-happy boy over here implanted that shouldn't be too hard."
        Carnage's eyebrow twitched. "Fireball."
        Fortunately Mayhem had the presence of mind to duck the spell. Chaos however, lacking such a presence of mind, was neatly flambéed.
        "I'd still have at least one and a half minutes of power," Pesti-chan's voice countered. "I could still get possessed by that time."
        "Then just use your popcorn maker," Famine suggested.
        "I think I'll stick with the Prog knife," Pesti-chan said. "Here goes nothing!"
        And with a grandiose display of close-ups and state o' the art sound effects, the Progressive Knife was unsheathed and gripped by the EVA. "Take this, Havoc!" Pesti-chan's voice proclaimed, driving the knife into the EVA's rippling leg armour. Everyone sweatdropped as the knife blade did nothing except fondly vibrate against the EVA's thigh.
        "Ooh!" Tasuki said. "Havoc turned it into a Submissive knife! We must drink to this new accomplishment immediately!"
        "Hai!" Anarchy cheered, slamming back another two bottles of Sake.
        "What the hell kind of a weapon is this?!" Pesti-chan's irate voice exclaimed. "All it does is purr!"
        The EVA Hell Custom howled again, the entire body spasming as Havoc reached its central S-2 Engine. Armour plates were torn and ripped off the massive body of the EVA as it went berserk. The chest plates toppled off, followed by everything around the waist and codpiece.
        Beans' eyebrow suddenly developed a nasty twitch. "What the...?!"
        "S-Sugoi!" Minako whispered in awe.
        "Well, technically their mothers are inside the EVAs," Mayhem said with a shrug. "So this should come as *that* much of a surprise to anyone else here."
        Crow whistled. "Now that is the second biggest pair of panties I have ever seen."

Page 5
Back to Fanfics