Chaos: [frantically ducking the Uterus!] "JO'O-SAMAAAA!!!!"
        Desolation: [stepping into the room!] "Hey guys, I finally managed to lose that big rolling Gentle Uterus and find my way---KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

        Dark Schneider winced. "Shit, now *that* had to hurt!"
        "Shimatta," Polaris said, looking over at an unscathed Chaos as the Gentle Uterus suddenly veered away from him and swerved to smite Desolation. "I missed! I never miss."
        "Well, this is Desolation we're talking about," Carnage replied.
        "Come on," Vega sighed, grabbing Desolation by his feet and dragging him along. "Let's get you patched up for your next smite. Say, Carnage, you're pretty sexy, you know that?"
        "He's *my* boyfriend!" Miyu and Rei chorused defensively.
        Pesti-chan sighed. "Maybe it's better if I stay out here and try to run damage control before it runs amok."
        "Too late!" Anarchy exclaimed, chugging down the contents of another Sake bottle as she tossed one over to Polaris. "More Sake, more Sake!!"
        Mako-chan nodded, and smiled at him "I'll bake a special Christmas cake for just the two of us, Kamui-chan."
        "Mako-chaaaaaan!" teary Bambi-eyed Chaos lamented, the kana for "Rejected!!!" bonking him on the head.
        "Daijobu," Usagi said, patting him comfortingly on the back. "Maybe meeting another one of your friends will cheer you up! She just arrived."
        Chaos sniffled, taking a deep breath. "Hai hai. So who showed" His--er, her voice trailed off as Chaos' eyes slowly lifted to behold his natural enemy standing next to the Christmas tree. "BEANS?!?!"
        Carnage turned to Cameraman Dan. "This should be good. Remember, pan back when Chaos goes flying across the room. He's pretty damned fast when he gets smited like that."
        Cameraman Dan gave a thumbs-up.
        Beans blinked in surprise as Chaos launched into SD mode, bouncing across the room. Seconds later she pulled out a tennis racket and smashed him into a corner. "You are such an idiot," she sighed.
        "Grrrr! Curse you, Beans!" an irate SD Chaos ranted. "Just what's the meaning of you duct taping me up like a Christmas present?!"
        "It just might have something to do with the last two dozen restraining orders she slapped on you," Polaris replied. "Quite literally I might add."
        Pesti-chan nodded. "I'm just impressed he was able to get up after she managed to send his face through the floor."
        Chaos' eyebrow twitched. "Why you...!"
        "--bean goddess!" Beans retorted. "'Let me get down on my knees and worship the soil you plant in!'"
        Carnage: o.O "Beans, you fool, no! Don't give him another idea for yet another lame--!"
        Chaos: "Ha ha! I have the ultimate revengefic on you now, Beans: Ah, My Bean Goddess!!"
        Carnage: [groan!] "--Chaosfic."
        Vega: [eyebrow twitch!] "Shall I smite him this time, Polaris, or shall you?"
        Polaris: "Actually, I think it's Anarchy's turn this time around. Just don't hurt him too much, Anarchy; Chaos-chan's still kinda cute."

        [Cue the AT Field!]

        Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

        However right before Chaos would have crashed through another fusama, the screen door was slide open. Fortunately since he was in SD mode, Chaos had very little weight on impact and instead ricocheted around like a rubber ball.
        "Itaiiii!!" Chaos lamented. Abruptly his eyes bugged out upon seeing who he had crashed into. "Lord Charon? ScrapperWolf?"
        "Ohayo!" ScrapperWolf said cheerfully. Her eyes lit up upon seeing Chaos all dressed in his--er, her leather S&M outfit. "Oh, that is just sooo cute! Where did you get that?"
        And with that ScrapperWolf started to chase after Chaos while Chaos started calling her the Queen.

        Carnage: [sweatdrop!] "Just what is it with our author's fetish for leather, S&M Dominatrix outfits and calling women The Queen, anyways?"
        Pesti: "You're asking this about an author who's just become the Customer of the Month at Wanda's Whip Emporium?"
        Dark Schneider, complete with the festive bottle of Sake and Santa hat on, growled upon spotting his rival for the affections of the fair Ami-chan. "What the hell is *he* doing here?!" Dark Schneider snapped, pulling out a Lord Charon plushie and Megadething it.
        Charon grinned, giving the v-sign. "Simple! I'm going to be waiting for Panty Claus with Havoc!"
        "Hotcha!" Havoc exclaimed, popping up behind Charon. "I never knew your sister was into the panties with the drawstrings!"
        Abruptly ScrapperWolf let out a cry in the midst of tummy-rubbing Rampage as she felt a cool draft sweep past her.
        Charon nodded. "She's been like that for quite some--WHAT?!"
        "This can't be good," Rei sighed. "Lord Charon and Havoc both in the same place at once."
        Chaos sighed. "Well, at least it couldn't get any worse!"
        Seconds later a cackle swept across the temple grounds, a laughter so intense, so maniacal, so utterly "call me the Queen!" in sound that Chaos instantly dropped to the floor screaming, "JO'O-SAMAAA!!!!"
        Into the room burst Red Queen Kasumi, all garbed in her spike & leather S&M dominatrix outfit. And just to be festive, she was wearing a cute little Santa hat too! Isn't that just adorable?

        Chaos: [frantic SD mode!] "Maybe if *you* weren't the one having to kiss her boots!!"
        Red Queen Kasumi: [with jingle bell whip!] "WOH HO HOH OHO HOH HO HOH HO HOH HOH!!! Chaos-kun, call me the Queen, please!"

        "Oh, I think I forgot to mention it," Vega added. "But Skimehime-chan's here too."
        Pesti-chan and Carnage sweatdropped as they saw an SD Chaos call Kasumi the Queen over and over and over--right up until he flung himself into Mako-chan's breasts to escape.
        "We kinda gathered that already," Carnage said.
        Makoto's eyebrow twitched as she nearly dropped the tray of food. "I come into the room with our meal for the Christmas party, and *this* is the thanks I get?!"
        Chaos sighed with his face in her bosom. "I'm thankful anyways...and that was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?"
        "HENTAI!!" Makoto and Pesti-chan exclaimed, clobbering Chaos right into the Christmas tree.
        Beans looked at the remains of the Christmas Tree, then at the li'l SD Haruka ornament she was about to hang onto it. "It's safer here," she muttered, tucking the ornament into her pocket.
        Red Queen Kasumi turned and struck a rather ecchi pose while pointing a finger at Havoc. "WOH HO HOH OHO HOH HO!!! Ara, Havoc-kun, are you ready to hand over the Royal Thong to its rightful owner?"
        Havoc groaned. "I do not have time for such ecchi antics, Skimehime-chan. Panty Claus could come at any time--and besides, the Thong's locked up in Planet Hentai." She looked over at her Ecchi-chan. "Lord Charon, grope!"
        "Hai!" Charon excited replied, standing to his feet and saluting his hentai sensei.
        "Oh, and Charon," Havoc added. "The perv will be with you. Always."
        "Kick his ass, Kasumi!" Dark Schneider shouted.
        "Oh, Carrot-chan," Ami sighed, stroking Schneider's chest. "You're just so sexy!"
        Miyu shook her head. "Should I even be asking what's going on here?"
        "It's best you don't know," Beans replied, wincing as Usagi decided to join Anarchy, Polaris and ScrapperWolf at the karaoke machine to belt out Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer.
        The fanboys and Senshi all watched Lord Charon charge past them towards Red Queen Kasumi.

        Lord Charon: "Panties for the glory of the uberperv!!!"

        Seconds later the fanboys and Senshi all watched Lord Charon get blown back across the room courtesy of Red Queen Kasumi, numerous little panties floating through the air in his wake. Beans ducked the flying Ecchi-chan in the midst of lobbing her octopuses at Chaos. Chaos on the other hand had a hoisted cow into the air at the time, and was unable to move. Luckily, Lord Charon's fall was nicely softened by Chaos, and luckily enough the cow's landing was nicely softened by both of them.
        "Cool!" Cameraman Dan said. "And I got all that on film too."
        "What a bunch'a bakas!" Tasuki laughed, his face all red from the Sake. "Let's see that in Slow Motion!"
        "Hai!" Anarchy exclaimed. "Again and again and again!!"
        "Curse you, Skimehime-chan!" Charon exclaimed, pushing out from the Charon/Chaos/cow-shaped hole in the wall. "I shall get your panties yet and prove myself a worthy hentai!"
        "Hai!" Minako cheered. "After all, Jello is a dish best served with Cream Lemon!"
        Everyone around her facevaulted.
        "That's 'revenge is a dish best served *cold*', Minako," Ami-chan sighed.
        Carnage's eyebrow twitched. "She's been hanging around Havoc faaaaar too much."
        "You call that a smite?!" Dark Schneider exclaimed. "Nail 'im, Red Queen! Like this: GUNS N' RO!!!"
        Desolation groaned as he staggered out from his recovery room. "Oooh, my head! Daijobu everyone, I think I'm healthy enough now to--KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
        Rei sighed. "I'll go take care of him this time."
        Havoc shook her head as she watched Charon rise from the crater. "I can see that you need to work on your Kaachu Tenshin Amapantiken technique, Ecchi-chan. Again!"
        Charon leapt back onto his feet and charged. "Hai!"
        Seconds later he was sent flying across the room, panties floating through the air in his wake.
        "Komban wa!" a new voice said as someone slid open one of the fusamas. They sweatdropped upon seeing the panties drifting through the air as Red Queen Kasumi cackled. "Um, am I late?"
        Pesti-chan grinned. "Famine!"
        Famine gave a V-sign as he stepped into the room. Seconds later a half-bombed Vega grappled onto him and tried to drag him into a dark room for some Christmas cheer...or else to play some Bingo (ne, Beans? Or was it Twister? ^-^). And yet no matter how hard Famine tried to struggle, he couldn't free himself from Vega's A-Ko like powergrip.
        "Um, a little help here?" he asked.
        "Is he a friend of yours?" Makoto asked, watching Famine get dragged by.
        Pesti-chan nodded, introducing the underlord-in-training, training, to Mako-chan. "Makoto, please meet my once fellow underlord who started the entire fanficfic revolution."
        "Pleased to meet you," Famine said, frantically latching into the Christmas tree and taking it across the floor with him. "Ne, Pesti, could you give me a hand?"
        Pesti-chan crossed his arms over his chest. "Not a chance, Famine. If I save you, then she'll automatically try to drag me off for a romantic fling."
        Makoto blinked. "She'd do that to you, Kamui?"
        "She tried that twice in the last fanficfic," Pesti-chan replied. "I'm not about to leave you, Mako-chan."
        Makoto blushed prettily at that.
        "Yes," Chaos added darkly as he crashed into the wall nearby Famine courtesy of Beans' terrified flying octopuses. "Vega tried that in a fanficfic which began only because you decided to write the very first fanficfic. And thanks to that fanficfic, you've inspired others to follow in your underlordish footsteps! Do you have any idea how many extra vicious smitings I've had to suffer through thanks to what you started?!"
        "Could we talk about this a little later?!" Famine snapped, snagging hold of the Energist Dragon that was still roaming around and dragging it along with him and the Christmas tree. But fortunately for Famine, because of contractual obligations Vega had to release the underlord--

        Famine: ^-^ "Arigato!"
        Vega: [sigh!] "Shimatta. And I was so close that time."

        --lest this fic go lemon.

        Carnage: [watching Charon still try to steal Red Queen Kasumi's panties] "Like that'd be a stretch for the author."

        Chaos pulled himself out from the crater, producing an umbrella to fend off another barrage of octopuses.
        "For the last time," Beans exclaimed in exasperation, winding up. "I said the lake god's mine. You've got Rampage for your mascot, so quit harassing mine!"
        She drew back her arm and let fly...nothing.
        "Ha!" Chaos exclaimed, sticking out his tongue and Pida-ing Beans. "You're all outta octopuses, Beans! Now what are you going to do?!"
        Beans glanced down at Lord Charon, who was now in a mound of panties yet without Skimehime-chan's. Lord Charon looked up at Beans...and sweatdropped. Seconds later Lord Charon found himself splashed with cold water and promptly hurled at Chaos' face.

        Octopus Charon: o.O *SPLAT!!*
        Chaos: "Hey, no fair using other otaku!"

        "CHU CHU!"
        Everyone glanced down as Rampage happily bounded into the room, and looked directly at the Jusenkyo'd Octopus Charon. "Yo quiero Tako Bell," she chirped, lunging for the terrified octopus.

        [Fanboy's Note: tako is Japanese for octopus! Yes, Charon, be afraid. Be very VERY afraid.]

        "Wah!" ScrapperWolf exclaimed in an uberkawaii fit, chasing after the SD Godzilla-thingy. "Rampage, I haven't finished feeding you the maki yet!"
        "Hey, everyone!" Ophelia exclaimed, entering through one of the sliding screens. "Hope I'm not late!" A sweatdrop appeared next to Ophelia's head as a frantic SD Jusenkyo'd Charon flopped in between her legs. "Ano...that was an octopus that just ran beneath me, right?"
        "Hai!" Minako and Usagi chorused.
        Ophelia shrugged. "Just checking. And good news: I brought Chocolate Pocky!" Seconds later a stone gargoyle leaped through the air and grabbed Ophelia's handful of Pocky boxes. "Christabel!!" Ophelia exclaimed. "That was *MY* Pocky!!!"
        "Then try and get it from me!" Christabel laughed, leaping across the room. Unfortunately the gargoyle wound up landing on Octopus Charon, and both mascots wound up sliding across the room and into a wall. Fortunately, however, their crash was nicely softened by Chaos.
        "Itaiiii!!" Chaos exclaimed, trying to wrestle Charon off his face. "Get offa me, you hentai wanna-be!"
        Lord Charon pulled out a sign: *That's Ecchi-chan to you, Sailor Dragqueen!*
        "I am not a Dragqueen!" Chaos protested, finally managing to yank the octopus off his face. "Ah, freedom!" he sighed. Instantly his eyes bugged out as Rampage pounced, still trying to devour Octopus Charon.

        Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"

        Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

Page 4
Back to Fanfics