[Meanwhile, inside Hysteria's room....]

SD Pesti #3: [tied to a chair] "SHIMATTAAAA!!! Damn you, Anarchy! This is doing nothing for my superdeformed libido!"

Ryuudo Kazumi: ;_; "Hanako-chaaaaan!!"

Hysteria: "Hush! Now then, let's begin Hysteria's kawaii little tea party-chan!"

         And with that, Hysteria hopped onto Kopii-Yoiko's shoulders and began... groping... her oni horns.

Fanboys: [slowly turning to Havoc] "This is *your* fault, you realize?"

Havoc: "Me?"

Chaos: "She has to be the pervert's daughter; Hysteria steals panties and Cream Lemons just like him!"

Hysteria: ^-^ "Hai, Chaos-momma!"

Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "Would you please stop calling me that?!"

Hysteria: ^-^ "Hai, Chaos-poppa!"

Chaos: [irate SD fanboy] "That doesn't help!!!"

(Yes, I realize Havoc will have a field day with that line, so go for it.)

Havoc: [???] "Go for what? I've already got Yoiko's panties and bra."

Carnage: "With any luck you'll go for a lobotomy."

Hysteria: ^-^ "Oooh! Lobotomy-chan! Lobotomy-chan!"

Chaos: [pointing to Hysteria] "I think she already had one."

Dark Mayhem: "Dare we ask what happened to your tea party, Hysteria?"

Hysteria: [sulking] "Kawaii little Kazumi-chan got possessed by a kawaii little demon-chan and ran off chasing after Devil Hunter Yohko-chan."

Dark Mayhem: [blink blink!] "Oooookaaaay."

         Kopii-Yoiko's eye began to twitch. "Would you... please STOP that?!"

Hysteria: ^-^ "Aw, but Yoiko-chan looks sooooo kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"

Carnage: [looking into the Neko-Tank's mouth] "How the hell'd she manage to stick a transpositional cannon into the hood of this thing?!"

Dark Mayhem: "Her daddy taught her well."

Carnage: "FREEZE ARROW!!!"

Newt Schneider: o.O [now frozen in a block of ice!] *Perhaps I should have rephrased that*

         "Waaaaah! But Hysteria-chan's having so much fun!!"
         "Nnnnyaaaaaaaaa...!"

Hysteria: "Wah! It looks like Yoiko-chan is going to hurt poor kawaii little Hysteria-chan! Somebody will save kawaii little Hysteria, ne? Ne? Ne?"

         [The fanboys immediately put on their sunglasses]

Fanboys: ^-^ "Hotcha!"

Havoc: "Happochinoes for everybody!"

Hysteria: "Waaaah! Everyone's so mean to poor kawaii little Hysteria!"

         And with that, Hysteria was introduced to the wonders of electroshock therapy.

Fanboys: "Ooooooh!"

Hysteria: "Okay, that's it! No more nice kawaii little Hysteria! KAWAII KILLER BUTTERFLY ATTACK!!!"

Fanboys: o.O

Desolation: [haplessly walking into the fanficfic] "Moshi moshi? Am I late again?"

         [Cue the killer butterflies!]

Desolation: o.O "KYAAAAAAA!!! It's a demon-possessed Mothra!! Where's my big-assed flyswatter when I need it?!"

         On her way out the door, Kopii-Yoiko (still smokin'!)

Carnage: "Much like Desolation...and whatever's left of the killer butterfly."

Dark Mayhem: "I never thought a bug zapper could catch on fire so quickly."

Chaos: "I never thought Desolation could catch on fire so quickly."

Pesti: [Ack!] "Air freshener! Air freshener!"

remarked, "Hey, I wonder if Skimehime-chan needs a protegee?

         [Cue Red Queen Kasumi!]

Skimehime-chan: "WOHO HO HOH HO OHO HOH!!! Ara, Havoc-kun, it would appear I have a little friend to help me out. After Kopii-Yoiko and I sit down for a quiet cup of tea, we'll steal the royal thong from you once and for all!!!"

Havoc: [fondling Misato Katsuragi's bra] "Oh, I'm sorry. I tuned out for a minute. Were you saying something?"

         [Cue the sweatdrops!]

Carnage: [smacking his forehead] "This is just what we need: another Charon."

Pesti: "That's what happens when you have your own little fan club."

Chaos: "People flee in terror?"

Dark Mayhem: "No, you're describing Hysteria's fan club."

Havoc: ^-^ "Panties!"

Chaos: "Are you even paying attention to a word we're saying, Havoc?"

Havoc: ^-^ "Panties!"

Dark Mayhem: "Allow me, Chaos. *Ahem* Jello!"

         [Havoc freezes and looks around]

Havoc: "Na ni? You have Jello, Mayhem?"

         [Chaos facevaults!]

Oh, and while we're on the subject, do me a favor and tell Charon he's got a little competition for the title of Ecchi-chan!"

Carnage: [shaking his head] "Havoc has *another* student?!"

Red Queen Kasumi: [with whip!] "No! Yoiko-chan is *my* perverted protégé! She will be calling me the Queen!"

Hysteria: [excitedly hopping up & down] "Ooooh! Sukebe-chan! Sukebe-chan!"

Havoc: "But there can only be one Hentenno."

Pesti: [eyebrow twitch!] "Ano...now what?"

Chaos: "Quick! Just do what I do when something like this happens!"

Dark Mayhem: "You bow down and lick their boots while calling them the Queen?"

Chaos: --;;

Pesti: [turing to Havoc] "And just what do you have to say about this?"

Havoc: ^^ "Hotcha! I got Yoiko's panties! I got Yoiko's panties!"

Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "......"

Dark Mayhem: "What? You were expecting him to say something else?"

Pest: [sigh!] "No, not really."

         Mayhem reminded her, "Hey, if you're gonna go out into the big wide world of the Fanboys! series, you're gonna need an alias!

Pesti: "That, and a really big gun."

Carnage: ^-^ "I'm covered!"

Chaos: "Hey! What about me?!"

Carnage: [tossing the Galaxy Gun on top of Chaos] "If you insist."

Chaos: o.O

         *CRUNCH!*

Who should I say sent that message?"

Havoc: "The name's Perv...Uberperv."

Red Queen Kasumi: "You are undeserving to be called the Hentenno, Havoc! I have perved things which you could only dream of!"

Chaos: [turning to Dark Mayhem] "You hum 'To Dream The Impossible Dream', and I will retaliate."

Dark Mayhem: "Wouldn't dream of it."

Chaos: [facevaulting] "......"

Havoc: [sigh!] "Skimehime-chan, it was bad enough when you tried to steal my royal thong, but now you're trying to steal my students! I am not going to stand by and let this happen."

         [Havoc snaps his fingers. Cue lord Charon!]

Havoc: "Charon, grope."

Charon: [chaaaaarge!] "More glory for the uberperv!"

Carnage: [smacking his forehead] "That's it! I'm leaving--and I'm taking the Neko-Tank with me."

Pesti: "Why?"

Carnage: "Because some mecha were never meant to have been created...pretty much like everything in G Gundam."

         Kopii-Yoiko's eyes narrowed in thought. "Hmmm... Charon calls himself Ataru Moroboshi, ne? Just call me Lum!"

Lum: ^-^ [latching onto Charon] "Darling!"

Charon: o.O;;; "Um...I'm not the real Ataru."

Lum: [grrr!] "YOU CAD!!!"

         *ZAP!!!*

Pesti: [wince!] "Oooh, that had to hurt."

         Chaos snickered. Everyone else ignored him.
         "Bai-bai! Oh, and when Hysteria wakes up, tell her I'm sorry, okay?

Fanboys: "We're not sorry you did that to her."

Hysteria: [throwing a kawaii little hissy fit!] "Waaaaah! Everyone's so mean to poor kawaii Hysteria!"

Red Queen Kasumi: "WOHO HO HO OHO HOH HO!!! Please hand over the Royal Thong, Havoc, otherwise I'm afraid I'll have to punish you."

Havoc: "You'll give me a spanking?"

         [Cue Red Queen Minako-chan!]

Red Queen Minako: "Only I get to spank my beloved Na-chan! VENUS SPANK ME CHAIN!!!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha!"

I wasn't really expecting that either. One of the last things I want is a kawaii killer butterfly with my name on it. Ja!"
         And 'Lum' walked out the door.

Charon: "Come back, Yoiko! There can only be one Ecchi-chan to romance the fair Ami-chan and it shall be me! I shall fight you to the death!"

         [Abruptly Dark Mayhem dumps a bucket of cold water onto Charon!]

Octopus Charon: [with sign] *What was that for?!*

Dark Mayhem: "Oh, nothing. Just helping seal your fate."

Octopus Charon: o.O

Dark Mayhem: [lobbing the octopus across the apartment!] "Hey, Rampage! Incoming sushi platter!"

         Author's notes:

Pesti: "'This fanficfic was written on recycled paper.'"

         Hey, Chaos, CALL ME THE QUEEN!!!
         WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!! ^o^

Red Queen Kasumi: "Ara, Chaos call *me* the Queen!"

Chaos: [bowing down] "JO'O-SAMAAAAAA!!!"

Red Queen Minako: [pose!] "I'm Na-chan's one and only Red Queen!!"

Havoc-chan: ^-^ "Hotcha! I've got Queen Emeraldas' panties!"

Carnage: "Meanwhile, we get stuck with a Dragqueen."

Chaos: --;; "Enough with the crossdressing jokes, you guys."

Dark Mayhem: [sigh!] "We only wish it was a joke, Chaos."

Chaos: "What? Are you saying my skirt doesn't match the scarf?"

         [Cue the facevaults!]

Carnage: "And aside from the whip-toting perverts, I think we can call this turkey over with."

Chaos: ^-^ "And I didn't get smited at all!"

         [Cue the Tulip which falls from the sky and smites Chaos!]

Chaos: [squashed li'l otaku] "Itai."

Pesti: "So, to all our fans, until our next Fanboys! feature is released, enjoy life--"

Havoc-chan: ^-^ "While I enjoy your panties!"

Havoc-kun: ^-^ "Hotcha!"

Carnage: "Enjoy this, you freaks: DRAGU SLAVE!!!"

Havoc-chan & Havoc-kun: ^-^ "Oro?"

         *MEGA-SPLOOT!!!*

Dark Mayhem: [sigh!] "Could we have a clean-up crew to the fanficfic, please? Page ten?"




         [End!]

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